Johnson told to: "Get a grip."

 

In my childhood  boys up to the age of 13 or so were expected to wear short trousers and long socks held up by elastic  garters.  The elastic soon lost its springiness  and the socks easily shuttered around the ankles (see the illustrations in the "Just William " books.)

When our performance in whatever was under discussion failed to come up to expectations we were often told to "Pull your socks up."  

Biddable boys so instructed but as yet unfamiliar with the nuances of metaphor would bend down, pull up their socks, and wonder quite how that would help in long division, memorising French irregular verbs, defending the goal or whatever area of underperformance they were guilty.

My father's version of  the injunction to improve was "Frame thissen."  (= Frame thyself, or frame yourself in modern English. Yorkshire dialect still used the singular thee, thy, thou). I still have no idea what "frame"* was being referred to .  It can't have been a spinning frame because in our part of Yorkshire we still used mules.  Brewer's Dictonary is of no help: it refers only to an Oxford Frame, for holding photographs.

Keir Starmer's frequent injunctions for the prime minister to "Get a grip" which I believe is in one of today's  papers, or at Prime Minister's questions:  "What is the prime minister going to do?" in terms of constructive suggestions, are as vacuous  as these childhood strictures.  By asking them Starmer is playing to Johnson's strength in that they invite bluster, an art in which Johnson excels.

Rather I believe Starmer would be more effective  if he asked questions so designed that they actually require an answer.

"Now that the private secretor is failing to operate an effective  track trace and isolate system, will the prime minister agree to phasing in  a greater role for the NHS and Local Government Public Health Departments."

"Will the prime minister agree to close consultation with local government councils and their leaders  when proposing changes to lockdown regulations for their areas."

"The government is spending up to £3 500 per person per day on private consultants.  Why cannot this work be done by our perfectly competent  civil servants at a fraction of the cost?"

 "What plans has the government to compensate those long-term viable businesses which lockdown regulations temporarily prevent from operating?

 There is a strong case to be made of the lead questions, not just from the Leader of the Opposition but from other  from other opposition MPs to be submitted before-hand so that the Prime minister can research a genuine answer.  If this were inadequate the questioner could then follow up with one or two supplementaries.

 Such a system would be more conducive to getting things right than the present time wasting and rather silly gladiatorial contest.

 * Post script added Monday 12th October. Further research (ie looking it up in Chambers Dictionary) reveals the "to frame" is a verb with a variety of meanings which incude "to bring about."  So Yorkshire Dialect has it right: "Frame Thissen, Johnson" means "bring something, such as control of the virus, about."  By itself it is still not very helpful: it needs suggestions as to how.

It is however pleasing to note that, since of the publication of this post, two of the helpful suggestions have been implemented: 

1. The government is to pay 2/3rds of the wages of those  unable to work because of enforced lockdown.  Not very generous when you consider that many of the wages will be at the minimum rate, but better than nothing,and

2  The central government is at last consulting  with local councils and leaders on the terms of the various lockdowns. It's is so far not very harmonious but, leaving it so late, I suppose they have not yet had chance to develop a positive working relationship.